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The role of effective family communication cannot and shouldn’t be treated with levity. It is commonly said that love brings one together.
It is also imperative to know that love alone won’t solve the problems when they arise.
What happens when love begins to look like a stranger? Effective communication would do the trick!
I watched a movie at my cousins’ during the festive break. It was a movie about a father and a mother, who were at loggerheads with each other. They wouldn’t speak with each other, they weren’t ready to resolve the issue either.
This situation also affected the children so badly that one day, the asthmatic son had a bad attack, that took the quick intervention of the older sister. He knew better not to go to the kitchen because of his health condition, but hunger had quickened his steps. Who would blame him? His mother had not prepared anything for him to eat!
On one fateful day, the second daughter came back from school crying softly. She had been raped by her school teacher. ‘Why are you crying?’ ‘Won’t you tell me the reason for your tears?’
After several nudges, she observed her sister’s uniform had been soiled. She explained how her school teacher had taken advantage of her innocence.
After hours when their parents arrived from work, the older sister went to the dad. She had the intention of explaining the situations going on in their house- the sister’s rape case and the brother’s asthmatic attack. Luck failed her when her dad shunned her saying ‘I am busy’ and that she should talk to their mum.
She left immediately to explain to their mum, who happened to at the same time, be in a hurry to leave the house. She did say some words to her, they weren’t just the words she was seeking. ‘Speak to your Father!’ she had shouted.
The unresolved disagreement between their parents has caused more harm than good. To the parents, they just have a misunderstanding that would most likely be resolved.
That would be resolved after unrepaired damage has been done?
CONTENT
- What is the meaning of Effective Communication?
- What is a Family?
- How to promote Love and Mutual Understanding as a way of promoting Effective Family Communication
- Frequently Asked Questions on How to promote Love and Mutual Understanding as a way of promoting Effective Family Communication
- Final Thought on How to promote Love and Mutual Understanding as a way of promoting Effective Family Communication
What is the meaning of Effective Communication?
Effective communication, especially in the family, goes beyond the regular sending and receiving of information.
We have to be sure how well it was received? How well did I send this information? Was I being bossy telling Muyiwa to pick up my keys from my room? Was I loud in the presence of the children? Humans are not robots.
We have blood running through our veins. Our feelings can be punctured. Some are quick to say how they feel when not treated right, some can endure for years without acting out their discontentment.
What is a Family?
The English Dictionary defines family as a group of people who are closely related to one another (by blood, marriage, or adoption) It is not even enough to be a family just by definition or some form we get fill in our surnames.
A family should be that one place where one is safest, where it is certain that you are really home when you are home.
Many times when parents get home from work, they are really happy to be home, probably because work has been hectic and tiring, the home just happens to be that soothing balm they need.
It would be very tragic when the home isn’t in any way homely, and this can be a result of an unresolved issue.
Think of the agony you feel coming back all tired from work, and your room is all scattered like it has been ransacked by unidentified people. A new wave of tiredness would really hit you big. Who are you to blame? You left your leg scattered before leaving for work, no entity would clean up your mess. Communication in the family would be effective when we clean up our mess!
Some children aren’t even bold enough to speak with their parents. I know of someone who is not comfortable staying at home with their dad. Not that the dad has some scary marks on his face. Far from that.
There has never been a bond between them. That’s not effective communication.
‘No, that’s fair.’ ‘I took the remote before you.’ ‘Why do you want to watch Nickelodeon ?’ ‘Why do you want to watch that fashion show?’. ‘Who are you to question me?’ Children are now being bullied even in their homes.
That’s not communication! Why not come to an agreement, instead of taking advantage of the young ones.
MORE FOR YOU
How to promote Love and Mutual Understanding as a way of promoting Effective Family Communication
1. Open communication
Everyone is free to let their views be heard without being criticized and bullied. Children would be able to walk up to their parents and discuss whatever wrong they have done to one another.
It builds a kind of rapport in the family when talks like ‘What do you think about ….’ come up.
A child who can express himself or herself freely would not have any issues speaking outside the home.
2. Active Listening
We need to do more with our eyes than our mouths. We have two eyes and a mouth to that effect.
Many of us listen so we can share our views as regards an issue. It is however wrong to advise or judge a person without their permission.
We can trigger effective communication by listening actively. Paying rapt attention to the speaker who needs someone to hear them out.
Some just want to be sure we are listening to them. Giving the right expressions like nodding the head, following the mouth, looking into their eyes, and making soft sounds like ‘uh’, ‘oh’, ‘really’, ‘an’, etc. Not only the ear is doing the listening, the whole body is.
3. Empathy
Empathy is the ability to put ourselves into others’ shoes.
Probably a member of the family went into a business that resulted in a loss, we should be able to empathize with them and not lecture them on risk management.
As a family, when all is going well and fine, we should be supportive, and when it is not going well and fine, we just still be supportive. Come rain, come shine!
4. Conflict resolution
Conflict is bound to happen among people, especially when there are many people in the family.
Sometimes people try to resolve issues, but they tend to complicate matters for themselves. They keep blaming one another till they build up another conflict. In conflict resolution, everyone’s point of view must be heard and respected regardless of the age bracket.
Phrases like ‘Do you know who I am?’ ‘Who do you think you’re talking to?’ ‘Am I your mate?’ and related phrases would only worsen matters. We should be able to correct one another in love.
5. Trust building
Parents and Children should be able to trust one another enough to be able to keep secrets.
If everyone outside the home would judge us, our family shouldn’t.
Our secrets are to be kept behind closed doors. We would be confident and reliant on our family to guide us instead of judging us.
Tunde had asked an 18-year-old Deborah to be his girlfriend. Deborah made a mental note to discuss with her mum and dad when she got home from school.
When we build trust with our children, they will open up to us.
6. Respectful communication
Respectful communication has nothing to do with age- be it a parent or a child.
The golden rule emphasizes ‘Do to others what you want to be done to you’.
If you need to watch the news, and your child is watching his or her favorite cartoon channel, the most appropriate thing to do is to ask politely and tell him or her why it is important that you watch the news.
You would be surprised that the child would let go of the remote and might even join you in watching.
7. Quality time
Parents put effort and work into providing for the family that they sometimes have little or no time for themselves, not to talk about the children.
When parents plan out vacations, revise their children’s school books and assignments, and have private talks with their children, it would really bridge the gap of miscommunication among them.
We shouldn’t in any way see communication just as a thirteen-lettered word.
Effective communication is very key.
Frequently Asked Questions on How to promote Love and Mutual Understanding as a way of promoting Effective Family Communication
What do I need to be better at Communication in my Family?
Listen to others’ opinions. Be careful not to always say ‘I’. Substitute ‘I’ for ‘We’. That is, ‘what about we do it this way? instead of ‘What if I do it this way?’ Make all corrections in love and respect. Parents should be able to correct each other behind closed doors.
Is Effective Family Communication A Difficult Task?
It takes effort and intentionality to effectively build communication in the family. It is not a difficult task, it is an investment that pays off in the long run. It might not be achieved in a day, but consistent effort would do the trick.
What are the benefits of Effective Family Communication?
It promotes peace, trust, and love. It fosters mutual understanding and sound judgment. Effective communication allows everyone to feel as important and needed as they really are. It instills confidence and boldness in children. Confidence and boldness are enough to speak with their parents on personal matters.
Final Thoughts on How to promote Love and Mutual Understanding as a way of promoting Effective Family Communication
Final Thought on How to promote Love and Mutual Understanding as a way of promoting Effective Family Communication
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